{Balancing Farm + Family}

Balancing farm, family, and life can be a puzzle at times. Trying to get all these separate and individual pieces to fit together in the right way so they form a working picture can be challenging. Sometimes our kids don’t feel like being a part of things or helping out. Sometimes Denis or I are tired and need a break. There are times when things go sideways and not the way we’d counted on.

Yet, in all of that, we have found some strategies that go a long way to making it all work!

Here’s what we have learned:

#1- Establish rhythms.

We have found having daily (and weekly) rhythms is super helpful in keeping things calm and running smoothly for everyone. Having regular daily times for chores, meals, after-school snack, homework etc. means everyone is being taken care of and things are always moving forward. Having weekly rhythms— like work days, Friday family nights, Sunday morning big breakfasts— also help to keep us all keen and connected because they give us regular things to look forward to.

Rhythms help everyone in the family know the plan, what is expected, and what they can count on. It keeps us all in sync.

#2- Check in. Pay attention.

We have also learned that checking in with each other and being attuned is vital. Just because things have been working great for everyone for the past few months doesn’t mean drilling forward in the same way for the next season of life will work. Paying attention to how each of us is doing and checking in with where the other is at is an integral part of doing life together and supporting each other.

We often notice during our busy summer season that, at some point, all the busyness gets to be too much. Perhaps the kids start nitpicking at each other, meltdowns start happening, or arguments begin to increase. That’s our cue to regroup and reconnect—bring in more rest or more play again and talk more one-on-one. Denis and I have learned to pay attention to these signals and use them as our cue to bring reconnection and downtime back into the mix.

#3- Know your priorities.

Know what matters most to you and keep bringing everything back to that. For both Denis and I, our little family and the kids top the list. If something works great for the farm or one of us but is a strain on the kids, it must be reworked. If our own pursuits cost us their well-being, then it’s not worth it.

Sometimes, that means laying something we love down for a season, but sometimes, it just means reworking it so that it doesn’t conflict with what matters most. Whatever it is, do what you have to to keep your priorities in alignment.

#4- Choose Flexibility.

Life, relationships, and pursuits rarely go exactly as planned. Just because something worked well yesterday doesn’t mean it will work well tomorrow. Things change, and life throws curveballs at you. So, be willing to pivot or adapt when something stops working or when you see a red flag arise. Use those creative problem-solving skills and avoid getting stuck in the trenches of ‘how you think things should be’ or ‘how we’ve always done it.’ Learning to do this has served us well. 

Finding a balance between kids and personal pursuits can be a legitimate challenge sometimes. And there’s no idyllic formula for making it all work perfectly. Instead, work out your priorities, choose to be intentional, pay attention to one another, and re-work things whenever something needs a shift or improvement.

And don’t forget to give yourself so much grace for all the times you don’t get it right. What truly sets you up for success will be your ability to keep getting back up and trying again. You got this!